Thursday, February 7, 2013

To Give, or Not To Give (P. 2)

Beginning where we left off:


“You can keep that one if you like.”

Sitting on her bed with all of the pins spread in front of her, Polaris recalled how extraordinarily similar that that sounded to the story that Sharon had told her.

 

Polaris and Sharon had been friends for a long time. They lived on the same street and were in the same grade. It was a rainy day. Little drops had been sprinkled Polaris as she walked to Sharon’s, but as she entered it was as thought the heavens had been smashed open and all of the waters above had dumped themselves onto the road that they lived on.

They were sitting on the soft carpet next to Sharon’s bed. Sharon was showing Polaris one of her most prized possessions: a heart-shaped brooch, not two inches long and a pale sunset pink. Three flowers, two yellow and red and one blue sprouted from the tip. A butterfly hovered over them flying in the strip of white that streaked across the top where the color had been rubbed off.

With pride, Sharon talked about how she had received it. She clasped it in her hand and it looked to Polaris that she was messaging it.

“It was a day like today,” Sharon said. “Rainy and grey. I remember because I wore my rain coat with the red flowers. We were going to the hospital to visit a friend, but looking back I don’t remember who it was.  I was nervous and didn’t let go of my dad’s hand.” She paused. “There was a packed elevator when we went up. At each floor someone got off. Soon the only people left were me, my dad and a lady who looked about in her twenties.” Pause. “She was pretty, but I forgot what she wore. I think that it was a white shirt and knitted cardigan. Anyway, she was wearing this very pin,” Sharon relaxed her fingers so that Polaris could see it, “and I couldn’t take my eyes off of it, Polaris. It was just so beautiful. She must have seen me staring, though, because she smiled walked over.

“‘You look afraid,’ she said to me, and looked me straight in the eye. And you’ll never guess what she did next, Polaris. Can you guess?”

Polaris opened her mouth to answer, but Sharon rushed ahead.

“She gave it to me! Can you believe it? She just undid it and pressed it into my hand and said, ‘You can keep this.’ I don’t know about you, but if I had something that pretty I’d never give it away!”

A few months later it was Polaris’ twelfth birthday. It was as wet as it was on the day at the hospital, so when Sharon and her twin sister, Sam, came to deliver her birthday present they couldn’t stay for long. When Polaris opened her birthday presents that evening, she found the little pin at the bottom of the bag.

“If I had something that pretty I’d never give it away!”   

“Never, Sharon?” Polaris whispered as she rubbed the pin thoughtfully.

 

On her bed, she noticed that she had been unconsciously feeling the brooch. She looked at all of the other pins that had been spilled in front of her, then gently put the heart down and picked up a pair of twin buttons, with needles so stiff that she couldn’t open it herself. They were both round, and fit each fit easily a palm. Polaris knew that they had once been orange, though now they were the color of rust. Each read “Maryland Beagle Club” with a brown and black pup standing, alert, on each one. Polaris knew well the one whom they had once belonged to.

 

Conrad Sterner was born in the year 1919. He grew up, got married and had four daughters, raising them about five minutes from the local Methodist church on the border of Maryland and Pennsylvania. They each got married and had children, and grandchildren (Polaris was one of them), and by 1990, Conrad Sterner was a great-grandfather. His wife lived to see her great-grandchildren, too.

In his long life, Pappy Sterner (as he was known to Polaris) had been a part of many things. One of these things was belonging to the Maryland Beagle Club. He had a special fondness for beagles (and John Deere tractors, and hunting).

In March 2012 Pappy Sterner passed away. He was ninety-three.

Polaris didn’t think that she could cry any more. Her eyes were sore from being rubbed and her fingers were clammy and cold and numb as she wrung her tissue between them. While her family loaded the car to return home, Grammy, Pappy’s daughter and Polaris’ grandmother, came up and wrapped Polaris’ hands around something.

“Polaris,” she said to her, “I was unpacking some of Pappy’s things from his house, and I found this. It has a lot of gifts that your family gave him, and there are some things that I found that I’d like you to have.” It was a wooden box, about eight inches wide and half as tall, the white paint peeling off and a picture of her mother and father and younger brother all sitting on a loveseat. It had to have been taken at least ten years ago, because Polaris’ father’s hair was still black and curly rather than grey and her brother was still less than a year old.

While Grammy hurried back into the house, Polaris opened the box. Inside there were a few trinkets and the Maryland Beagle Club buttons. She held them close to her chest and imagined Pappy Sterner wearing the same pins forty years ago.  

When Polaris’ father drove back to their home, he decided to take a detour (dads are sometimes like that) and drove past by- you guessed it -the Maryland Beagle Club, or the tree-shrouded field and house that it used to be, anyway. Polaris could see Pappy (much younger, of course) running across the field with a pair of faithful beagles at his heels and other men running with him, then getting tired with the sun and finally dragging themselves inside where hot cider and lantern light waited for them. Polaris blinked and the image faded. It had lasted barely a second.

 

Months passed. Polaris acquired many more pins, but every now and then she’d put on one that had once belonged to her beloved great-grandfather. It was in late August when she had picked them up again in the comfort of her cozy bed and clutched them tightly, one in each hand.

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